


The Official Avengers' Halloween Candy Forager

by Daringdoublebassist



Series: Nat/Mia Shorts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Halloween, Maria Hill isn't paid enough, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 19:35:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daringdoublebassist/pseuds/Daringdoublebassist
Summary: It's 5pm, on Tuesday 31st, and Maria is panicking.





	The Official Avengers' Halloween Candy Forager

It wasn’t so much that the team asked Steve to do these specific kinds of jobs, it was the case that they assumed he’d know to do them, and that’s how Maria found herself sprinting through a supermarket at 5pm on Tuesday 31st. Perhaps she should list this new skill on her C.V. - Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D (2005-2007), Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D (2008-present), Official Avengers' Halloween Candy Forager...?

Steve’s offerings had been unusual by current standards, and the trial presentation to his teammates had caused some extramarital dispute. Steve had prepared divining apple peels for their female trick-or-treaters, and decidedly controversial jokes for the males. Maria discovered his plans only after a heated telephone call from Jane: Thor’s interpretation had led him to throw the apple at his girlfriend and then insult her using a joke the good Captain had provided. Maria quickly locked her office and braved the wild streets.

But to what end? 

“No Nat, I’m serious, there’s nothing here!”

Her wife snorted down the line, not managing to disguise her glee at Maria’s plight. “Well, what did I tell you Mia? ‘Don’t make Steve do it, he’s still catching up.’”

“Yes, but Nat-”

“And I offered, twice! But you said as a Russian, I wouldn’t have such an affinity with this holiday as Rogers!”

“Natasha, I know, but what am I going to-?”

“It serves you right for ignoring me!” Natasha was having far too much fun at her expense. Maria steeled herself for her next words.

“I know, and I’m sorry, Nat.”

She braced herself against the row of empty shelves, and tried not to sob in lieu of her wife’s next retort. How would the Avengers’ PR fare in the wake of Steve’s old-fashioned, semi-misogynistic treats? When would Natasha stop holding this over her? The unnecessary breath she held burst out of her all of a sudden as Natasha offered an olive branch.

“I suppose I could bake something. Shikoladnaya kartoshka, maybe?”

Maria loved her wife. She never doubted her. She would run through fire for her or, at least, through a ghoul- and ghost-stuffed shopping mall.

“You’re a star! What do you need?”


End file.
